Hey Kids! Let's Play Funeral Parlor!

So, let me explain how this whole thing went down. I saw this photograph:

They look delicious. Don't deny it.

I was determined to locate a recipe for these so I could fast forward to the eating part however, once I did I got way more than I bargained for. Apparently, they are called "Resurrection Rolls" and these Easter-tide treat instructions are written out as an activity to do with your children. This, Gentle Readers, is where it gets awesome.

First, you take some crescent rolls - these will serve as the burial shroud. Be sure to explain that to your kidlets. Then, Goddess help me, we are instructed to get a little racist by taking a marshmallow to represent Jesus because he's "all white and pure" - you know, like a marshmallow.

Next dip your Jesus in "embalming oils" aka some melted butter.

Follow it up by rolling the Jesus-mallow in a mixture of cinnamon and sugar - "This is like the spices used to prepare his body for burial."

Finally, wrap Jesus in his burial shroud and place him in the "tomb," (a 350 degree oven). Bake for twelve minutes - clearly, he has risen. Congratulations, you are now a necromancer.

Apologies to Eat At Allie's.

1 comment:

  1. Whoa - now that's just creepy. But tell me, did you make them? And did Jesus taste as yummy as he looks?